Randy Johnson is a famed baseball player who pitched for twenty-two years in Major League Baseball. In 2001, Johnson played for the Arizona Diamondbacks who won the World Series. The champions of the World Series must win four games out of a seven-game series to claim a title. Johnson won three of the four games that year against the New York Yankees. Johnson also led the league in strikeouts for nine seasons. I have long admired Johnson for his many professional accomplishments.
Johnson once expressed the following testimonial – “When I was younger and inexperienced, I was a very animated pitcher. I pitched with a lot of adrenaline. I was my own worst enemy when things weren’t going well.”
This quote resonates with me because I often feel the same way as Johnson. The only person who typically stands in my way is the person I see in the mirror every morning. I wrote this poem recently on December 29, 2023 to express these sentiments. I am my own worst enemy, or I am my own best friend. When I think too much about everything, negative thoughts about myself and my future tend to flood my mind. This original poem, The Anti-Villain, reminds me to be kind to myself and live in the present moment. Instead of focusing on myself, I should focus on the needs of my children and spouse. I desire to take the attention off myself in living out this mentality.
Going into 2024, this poem illustrates a purpose to accept redemption through belief in Jesus Christ. I am the anti-villain in the race of my own thoughts. I seek to step out of my own way and see today as the obvious blessing it is. In my spiritual heart, I yearn to treasure and remember moments with my children, Annabelle and Jace. The annoyances of future responsibilities can wait, so that I allow my family to absorb my full, undivided attention. Most times, the anti-villain mentality is a waste of energy anyway. I much rather concentrate on today and what is happening right now. Therefore, I will not miss the many blessings present today in front of my eyes. Read this poem carefully and seriously contemplate the wisdom of these poetic words.
The Anti-Villain
I play the worst enemy
When I look in my mirror.
I stir the struggle.
All agree looking inside
Outside out playing in.
Depression works third shift.
The frenzy frantically
Plays the lunacy of fruitlessly
Starting a new mutiny
Rooting for the anti-villain.
I play the anti-villain
In my own psyche
When I cheer for forces
Within my control.
The hero fails to capture
The good in fantasy
When I know the culprit.
It’s me so tragically.
The fable prevents amnesty
So apathetically
Without keen strategy.
Tired of the scheming
I see the rearview mirror
Tranquilly and gallantly
Yet still thankfully.
I grow older and wiser
To grab the baptistry
Without increasing atrophy.
I play the anti-villain
In my own psyche
When I cheer for forces
Within my control.
The hero fails to capture
The good in fantasy
When I know the culprit.
It’s me so tragically.
The past is not me.
The present is me.
The future becomes me.
I stare directly
Into the magnifying
Glass of this mystery
To realize grace exist
So patiently and kindly.
Why have I not realized
It’s me?
I play the anti-villain
In my own psyche
When I cheer for forces
Within my control.
The hero fails to capture
The good in fantasy
When I know the culprit.
It’s me so tragically.
I no longer pull
For the anti-villain.
I drink my Papst
In this Blue Ribbon
To let go a long sigh.
This marks the last time
Life loses meaning
I’m weaning
Off that voice demeaning
To embrace my redeeming.
I was the problem.
It’s no longer me
Because it’s me
I appreciate and see.
- 12/29/23 –
*Please enjoy the following pictures of my family in recent good times we experienced and shared, including some holiday scenes.
(Jace often hugs the moose during these interactions.)
(JayJay, also known as my father, fully decorates his house like a Hallmark commercial. It is quite extravagant!)
(JayJay
has a toy train set around the Christmas tree that Annabelle and Jace love to
watch in wonder.)
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